Sometimes I wonder
if my feet had never touched the grass
if rubber soles stayed between us
Disconnected from my Mother,
Disconnected from myself.
Sometimes I wonder
Which parts of me would I miss?
If I never clinched the ground
and grasped the earth with pleasure
like a lover, indulging another round
What if I never left that place
Where pollen and dirt were foreign
Vigilantly left outside
Outside of my home,
outside of my life
but I did. I’m here.
laying in grass, legs in gentle, sensual position
No human lover, but here I am, held.
The wind caresses us together
we sway along with pleasure
We feel. We stay.
What would have happened if I never found my way?
I can’t think about that now.
That life is too far away
But I think of all the others.
Staying inside
sterile confines of modern mind.
Quarantine season. Separation. From ourselves and from each other.
Enemies of fellow humans.
Barriers between life and limb.
But I know
Nothing’s more essential than erotic
Nothing’s more erotic than touch.
Not Safety. Not Security. Not if you ask me.
I’d rather stay here.
Caressing the grass.
Teasing the bees.
Swaying with trees.
Courtney McKinney 